thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
These tits shall not be calmed
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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