i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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