but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
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