Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
