In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
