She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
