Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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