i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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