I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
We need to rekindle our bromance
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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