I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Randomize
