so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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