Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
