pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
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