Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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