she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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