She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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