We're like a lot better than the average bears
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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