so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
