Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You need Xanax blowdarts
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
