So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
