I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize