so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
