You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
