You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
