I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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