summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
