I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
