why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
