So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
