can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
