Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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