I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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