i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
