If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
