guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
