Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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