My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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