I just pynch a tree in the face
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
