Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize
