I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
