I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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