you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
