Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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