We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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