What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize