Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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