think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
