some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
