Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
it's like iHOP with fire
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize