sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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